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The fear of failure, the fear of death is a learned emotion. All the emotions are impulses to act. Love and fear are the basic emotions for the survival of the species.The emotion of fear prepares the body either to fight or to flight in the event of danger to our life.
Fear of death and all other fears are learned responses
Jackie Bibby, the Texas “snake man” spent about 45 minutes in a see-through bathtub with 87 rattle snakes for Guinness World records. The snakes crawled all over his body, between his arms and legs, but not bite him. The snakes not bite him because he was stayed still in the tub. Even if rattle snakes are replaced with non-poisonous snakes, we cannot venture such a task. However, a small child, who not yet learn t the fear of snakes, can sit in the bathtub without any fear. This child not yet learn t the fear of snakes. Once he learns he too cannot venture such a risk. Fear of death is thus a learned response.
Exercising discretion can neutralize the fear
Fear is our trusted friend, it warns us of danger, it reminds of past experiences. It is only a warning signal. We may act or ignore, using our discretion. We are not supposed to react for every single warning. Unless you consciously subdue it, fear will capture the situation, and you remain a silent spectator.
Some people die everyday with the thoughts of theft, thoughts of loss, which never takes place. However, they experience that fears everyday and subject their body with anxiety and stress unnecessarily. The signal of danger asks us to take certain precautions. Otherwise the impulse has no significance. Just we have to ignore it.
The fear of failure is a stumbling block for our growth
Many people suffer the fear of failure. This fear immobilizes them and not allows them to take even a small risk. However, as a child we used to take all sorts of risks. In the fear of failure, there is no threat to life. Then why do we fear? It is fear of rejection. The fear of rejection is a big stumbling block that not allows us to take even smallest risks, and we confine to mediocre life. Can children learn walking without falling down? We don’t realize such a simple life principle.
Evolution of fear of death
Understand the evolution of emotions. The fear of death plays a crucial role in the life of birds, fish and reptiles. Their body responds instantaneously without the intervention of conscious mind. The emotion of fear precedes the thought that saves their life. However, in human life, with the advancement of civilization, threat to life was minimized to the larger extent. The emotion of fear, therefore, had a negligible role in our lives. However, we are continuous to be affected by the fear of death.
Human evolution is not in pace with human civilization. We always play safe under the influence of fear of loss or fear of failure. Playing safe is nothing but, limiting our potential. Mind you, the fear of death is root cause of all other fears. It is a learned response you can unlearn it with conscious mind.
Our conscious mind continuously captures by emotional mind. Success stories of others motivate us, but it is short lived. We are pretty sure of our knowledge and expertise. However, the fear of rejection or failure over takes and over power the conscious mind. The emotion of fear rooted in our psyche very deeply, and it is very difficult to uproot it, unless the intensified passion and determination subdue the fear.
Overcoming fear of death with spiritual thoughts
Indian spiritual philosophy advocates that body and mind are physical but the real you are non physical. You are an invisible, infinite reservoir of pure energy that sustains the body and mind. You feel eternal by shifting focus.
A person enjoying each minute of life does not think or afraid of death. We require tomorrow as today is unfulfilled. Do not focus on the things on which you have no control. Leave them to the discretion of the God. Your job here is living the life totally each minute.
You understand the fear of death. Learn how overcome the fear of driving
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overcoming fear means building self confidence. Fear and doubt are two important hurdles in the path to building self confidence. Our ambition remain as dream, unless and until we overcome the fear.
Overcoming fear of English language
Until I complete my graduation, I have studied in my regional language i.e. my mother tongue. As I was a product of Rural India the subject of English appeared Greek and Latin. After education, I was forced to appear for competitive examinations to get my employment. Getting the job is a compulsion for me to look after my dependents. Thus I have no choice but to face the battle with English medium. I was mentally prepared and determined to appear for the examinations. I read English news papers, watched the English news in television.
On the day of examination, somehow I marshaled my energies and proceeded with heavy heart and abnormal pulse rate.I did not know how I finished the examination. With that experience, I started appearing for all the competitive examinations in English medium. The fear of “English Language” was considerably reduced if not eliminated altogether.
Overcoming fear of facing conferences
After appearing for many examinations, finally I became a “Tax Man” highest civil service in the State Administration.
Now as administrator, I need to attend conferences called by my boss. Facing the Boss appeared to be stressful for me. That was the first conference. My body chemistry had been changing; it was getting ready by sensing perceived threat. I entered into the conference hall with stressful mind. Conference was completed and stressful chemicals withdrew from my body. I attended conferences regularly and got adjusted to the change.
Overcoming fear of public speaking
In those days’ Government of Andhra Pradesh contemplated the introduction of Value Added Tax system in the State of Andhra Pradesh. My boss appointed me as one of the resources persons to conduct training classes for the departmental personnel and trade unions. My fearful mind was not ready for facing that situation. Ihad no experience of standing on the stage and giving lectures. Almost three days I was sleepless. However, I had no option but live up to the expectation of my boss. Although my mind was not comfortable with this thought, I prepared day and night.
The day has come on which I had to conduct the class by myself. I had proceeded to the stage with bated breathe and started my lecture. One hour completed. I did not know how I completed my class. Thereafter I lead series of seminars, workshops. The new assignment which caused a lot of pain in my heart initially turned into a pleasurable exercise. In fact, I enjoyed each minute of it.
Principle I followed for overcoming fear
If, I deeply dwell on all the events of my life, I realized that I overcome my fear by attempting the same thing which I am fearful about most.. My intense passion and compulsions forced me to face the fears. The simple principle for overcoming fear and building self confidence is thus an intense passion plus attempting the same thing that you fear.
If you have fear or doubt about anything in your life, attempt or venture the same activity that you fear. Over a period of time any activity becomes effort less habit. This simple principle can alone remove your fear and doubt. Not attempting or running away on the feeling of fear or doubt will get you nowhere. You remain fearful and frustrated all your life. You miss a lot of opportunities and enjoyment. This is the only proven principle for overcoming fear and building self confidence.
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The person who is setting goals in life proving to the world that he is living a purposeful life. He is also proving that he is capable of achieving goals. He is an embodiment of belief and determination.
The person who does not set any goals in life revealing to the world that he is living a purposeless life. He is also exhibiting that he has neither belief nor determination.
purposeful life gives you immense satisfaction. Purposeful life explores your strength, trigger your passion, and ignite your happiness. Why 24 Mango trees were cut down and uprooted in my mango grove?
I have a mango grove in my native place. There are about 100 trees of varieties of mango. “Banginapalli” variety is famous for its deliciousness. It is also exported to many countries. For the last five years, we have been observing a steady decline of productivity, in trees whose age exceeded 45 years. With keen observation, we have identified 24 trees and decided to replace them. Accordingly, we have given this task to local people who cut the branches and removed its trunk using JCB machine. We have replaced them with the superior variety, which are started growing profusely.
It is quite natural to remove unproductive trees to sustain the productivity of mangoes. If we neglect, productivity falls down. Every agriculturist knows this truth. Are you productive enough to match your potential? Unproductive people lead purposeless life. They exhibit incompetent behavior in their life.
sense of productivity can only sustain this life
The sense of productivity or contribution is the only force that sustain this life. Once we lost these feelings, we literally lose the will to live. I observed this phenomenon more explicitly in retired employees. As long as they are in service, they strive to maintain a mental state of youthfulness. However, after retirement from service, they feel a sense of loneliness, Sense of insignificant life, and finally they lose sense of direction. If their children failed to pay their attention and love, the situation deteriorates further.
setting goals can only channel youthful energies
A compelling and meaningful activity is the food on which our soul feeds. The young generation must therefore, consciously discover their strength and passion. Setting personal goals or career goals help channel their energies.
Elderly people must also pursue physical, social and spiritual activities. These three domains operate at the Bio-chemical level. They increase the rate of generation of neurons. Preserve and protect the body cells. Their diary, therefore, should be filled with activities of physical exercise, playing with children, meeting friends and relatives, visiting new places, reading books and listening to spiritual discourses.
setting goals and pursuing them bring eternal happiness
Our unhappiness is resulting of impotent activities we pursue. They never give us a sense purposeful life. The fuel for happiness is setting goals and achieving them. Setting goals is nothing but the self belief and experiencing courage and determination. Everlasting satisfaction and happiness can be experienced by pursuing passionate goals.
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What is the secret of happiness? You have a new house, new car and good job. However, you are not finding happiness. Happiness seems to be illusive. You can find happiness by being good to others. You can find happiness by spending time with friends and well wishers. What make us human is the feeling of love and compassion. We experience the feeling of love and compassion only by extending our love and compassion towards our fellow people. We become inhuman with the lack of love and compassion. Experience of Love and compassion are thus the secret of happiness. June 10th 2007 is the most memorable day in my life. I find happiness and a sense of deep fulfillment on that day. That day was our 15th marriage Anniversary day. We used to celebrate the marriage day in a simple way in the presence of my children only. My moderate upbringing never motivated me to celebrate the marriage day ostentatiously.
In view of the above, and to leave lasting memory in the mind of my wife, I have decided to celebrate 15th marriage day distinctly. Accordingly, I planned and celebrated in a remote tribal village near Araku valley 110 kilometres away from the city of Visakhapatnam . This is a tribal hamlet always affected by natural calamities. By the time we reached there, all the children are waiting for us and started greeting us with clapping of their hands. We have given them eatables and distributed readymade garments. While they are singing, we celebrated our marriage day. We spend a good time talking with them and sharing their dreams and ambitions. We find happiness that was most real and memorable. We left the village with bagful of memories. The time spent with them on that day is the happiest memory registered in my mind.
That day I have realized that by extending love to others, we find happiness. Expression of love is therefore, is the secret of happiness. The love and happiness given by the children and their parents cannot match what we have spent on them. We deeply felt grateful for their love and affection. Inspired by this event I have organized similar activities on different occasions. In fact, such incidents had a great influence on my mind and ultimately paved the way for my resignation from the lucrative Government Service.Perhaps many people experienced similar feeling in their lives.
Upanishad of samaveda indicates that self is one, and it alone exists. Names and forms, which differentiate one thing from another are super imposed on the self, to serve a practical purpose in everyday life. In three words, the great book sums up the entire teaching of the Vedas. Individual self is nothing but superior self or God. By extending love to others, we are experiencing our original nature of oneness. Finding happiness is therefore, finding oneness. The secret of happiness is pursuing the activities which lead to oneness with others.
Humanity is a disposition to relieve persons in distress and treat our fellow man with kindness and tenderness.
We are squandering wealth to nourish the ego rather than brining smile in the life of our fellow human beings. Our wealth squandering activities do not bring peace nor find happiness for us. Sharing the wealth with the people who are in desperation is then a secret of happiness. Our other attempts to find happiness are in vain. The quality of being human is expressing love and compassion to the people who are in distress. The pursuit of humanity by expression of love and compassion is thus the secret of happiness that brings lasting happiness in us. Meditative life is also a secret of happiness that blends playfulness of childhood and wisdom of adulthood
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